Welcome to my Fun Page

This page has some really cool jokes that were sent to me by joke of the day and some other nice-funny things from other places. If you have any really funny jokes send them to me at [email protected] with your name and i might add it to the collection :).
Anagrams by K. Samson
Dormitory = Dirty Room
Evangelist = Evil's Agent
Santa = Satan
Desperation = A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code = Here Come Dots
Slot Machines = Cash Lost in 'em
Animosity = Is No Amity
Snooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z's
Semolina = Is No Meal
The Public Art Galleries = Large Picture Halls, I Bet
A Decimal Point = I'm a Dot in Place
Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one
Contradiction = Accord not in it

I really like these.....
THINGS THAT BOTHER ME - Submitted by K. Loster
------------------------------------
When people say It's always in the last place you look. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something wrong with it before.

People who are willing to get off their butts to search the room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

When people say Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too. Get Real. What good is a lousy cake you can't eat? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?

When people say, while watching a movie Did you see that? No you idiot, I paid $8.50 to come to the theatre and stare at that thing over there. What did you come here for?

People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?

TOP 5 ways to Intimidate Your Professors
- Submitted by Claudia Rojas
-----------------------------------------------
1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.
2. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.
3. Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters CHECK YOUR FLY. (At Least for the Male profs)
4. Address the professor as your excellency.
5. When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream AAAGH! MY EYES!

REALLY GREAT QUOTES- Submitted by Sam Smith
------------------------------------
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
- Will Rogers
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a moron.
- George Carlin
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
- Carol Leifer
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
- Dave Edison
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.
- Steve Bluestone
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
- Johnny Carson
Never moon a werewolf.
- Mike Binder

* Why do you need a drivers license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? * Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? * Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? * Do you need a silencer if your going to shoot a mime? * How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning? * If 7-11 stores are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year,why are there locks on the door? * If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan? * If you are in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? * Why do they put braille dots on the key pad of the drive-up ATM? * Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? * You know that little indestructible black box used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? * Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? * If dracula can't see his image in the mirror, why is his hair always neatly combed?